So much fun, thanks god it’s not boring anymore, for someone who’s fond of guitars and rock I will never feel bored again. We have been taking our guitars and go out to any place, crowded or empty, narrow or huge ..it’s always fun with sounds of our guitars, different guitars.
Soon and before we fly to LV in September we will be in Dubai where we can see wonderful concerts ..
and that’s what I’m talking about
This car, aaah no this is not a car, its amazing, I always sing “you can take my breath away..” when I see it.
I know you can see it everywhere now, I see it with all wonderful colors too, it amazes me though, its lights, its sight..everything, I’ve never expected that I’m going to fall in love with a car. It sounds so silly, so ridiculous!!
How I love it, I love cars, but this is not a car, this is my boyfriend!!
pool dari?!
Exams kill, dont they? yes they kill. They bring more sicknesses no doubt about that, anxiety, stress, headache..etc. Im not over complaining but that’s what I have recently realized. Tomorrow is my last exam and I’ll sleep forever when go back home. Hopefully I wont lose any of my GPA, Im not ready to know that Im getting worse in everything.
My journey to Vegas is soon, I will finally break free for a while, its going to be very stressful there but I guess it’s much better. I need to stay away from all what has happened through this year, people think that Im someone else because there’s a girl who said that she’s me (pretty interesting, isnt it?!), I want to stay away from some people due to the lack of kindess they have. Friends who talk behind my back, they’re nice to me but think that you tell lies all the time. This world is going nut!!
What sucks most is that my therapist still thinks I’m making no progress at all, he says that telling him that I’m doing my best isn’t enough and I might lie about that. I’m very honest and got the best damn therapist in the whole universe. Everytime I go there and sit in his sight to check me out he keeps looking for minutes to tell me at the end “poor thing dear, what are you doing through week days?? how often do you eat?” .. I eat like a wild animal but that doesnt work, then what the hell I’m supposed to do?! Fuck this disease.
On the other side, what makes this world is even worse instead of making it better for drivers, those police men who stop people like me …innocent people lets say hehe. I was driving in peace, he just stopped me to ask me about my name and whose car I was driving, how old I am .. and yeah wait listen to this lovely question .. where did you get this nice hair cut?!! Duhhhh. I just wanted to know what’s wrong and why he asked me all those silly questions, at the end he asked me to enjoy driving and that he wanted to check something no more.
I will take a long break, it’s going to be forever as I said. I wont open a book and won’t read a word unless for my benefit!!
It is really amazing, now and for the first time in history cell phones aren’t just for calling or sending SMS’. Nowadays you can make a cellphone popcorn party.
While there are rumors that these wildly popular videos of a posse of cellphones popping popcorn by their rings or other unknown death rays are fixed, BoomTown actually does not care one iota, as the remote possibility that they are not is freaking me out.
Frankly, it would freak Orville Redenbacher out too.But they are still riveting.
I love presidents when they die. Today I had a test, actually I woke up saying Im 100% sure Im gonna fail no doubt about it. I changed and did the same program I do every morning and went down stairs to check the newspapers while Im waiting for Mom. Guess what!! On the first page, that lovely cute prince of Kuwait whose name is Saad El-Abdullah has died today, he’s so amazing at timing, thank you God, I will always remember this grace.
I ran to my room, threw everything back and slept for a couple of hours with no dreams or nightmares or any fears of eating meals today. I slept with a big smile on my face, saying “Prince Saad rest in peace“.
That is what I am doing to myself as he said. Not True. I dont even smoke, I stopped taking pills (Mom stole them anyway), and I think that I eat more now. He tells lies, he cannot be a doctor!!
I have got my own motivation, he helps me alot and that makes Mom feels happy about me that I’m getting better. She doesn’t understand why I am trying to recover and get my treatment properly. I wont tell her though, bleh.
Well, many people have no idea that a woman needs at least 1500 calories daily and a man needs at least 2500 calories daily. I used to take 300 calories daily no more, it’s a crime to break this rule, but now I started to take 500 calories and even more. That’s very good for me, without getting any help from that dump ass.
Finally, I am starting to feel well again, with my own help.
btw, he said that this girl in the pic has the same hight and weight as mine. Again, definitely he’s telling crap. I dont think I look like that at all!!!
Is it bad to get the chance to say what you really feel toward someone? I have no idea, no more. It has been months and I couldn’t see it clearly, I couldn’t know what was that feeling and I didn’t want to go fast.
To tell someone that you care, to show him how worried you are about him when he’s late or so, to tell him that you miss him and he makes you happy, don’t you think there’s a missing word here?! It’s that you love him?! Everything was saying it, the way you act and the way you talk, you thought he would realize what you feel?! Dumb ass.
So it was normal when he asked his stupid question which was “do you love me?!” I was like duhhh, and though I said pause, lol! I couldnt say it because I’ve never imagined that I could tell. Eventually I was almost stuck and said the Yes, the worst Yes I’ve ever said so far.
There are beasts live inside each guy and I hate to believe in this fact, finally I could. That’s so true, no matter how nice, cool, serious, gentle..etc, he has his own beasts, you got to feed them for his lusts and desires, I hate it when I see that side of a guy.
How cruel is this world?! How far I can go with this?!
Well, yesterday I drove directly from uni to the beauty saloon, that’s becasue on my way I was thinking of a new hair cut and a nice color for a new look. There, I asked for a light color, Im told that it goes fabulous with white skin. I suppose they dyed it with a light color but what I see now is very dark. Lord, my hair was dark, no change then.
It looked amazing there, I thanked them and it was really good, but as soon as I arrived home and looked at the mirror I saw it just like before. The hair cut was too short for me though everyone was saying that it doesn’t look any shorter! Maybe I am blinded as my psychiatrist says. Who knows anyway.
I dont like it. I feel bad. My hair was prettier for me, people like it more now. My friends want to dye their hair with the same color and I was thinking “is there any color?“
P.S: Miss Kazerooni, if you’re reading this. DO NOT LAUGH.
Cool cool cool, I like it when I fool…(eagerly)
Ok, that sounds so cruel, but sometimes fooling others makes Fun. You get what you want easily. Winks.
Thanks Dad, I can always be sick to get such things from you. You rock Mr.H.
I feel blue. It was the best weekend since uni has started. Feeling exhausted never ends though.
It was so nice to spend more time with parents, I mean without yelling and fighting, but going back to uni on Monday wasn’t that much pleasant. Actually it was almost the worst day that anyone would have, but there was something had changed the entire mood.
So, on Mon I have only two lectures and this Monday I was so sleepy due to insomnia, that’s why I skipped the first lecture at 8 am. Then the second lecture starts at 9:30 but I got there late because I had to wait for someone to wake me up. lol!
however, I opened the door, something was not normal at all, everyone was looking right down, I thought ‘they’re writting something.. what is it??’, then the doctor asked me to take me a paper so I thought ‘it must be an exercise for all students’. I took the paper and sat in a random place, I read what was written on the first page…”The second semester mid-term exam 2007-2008″. I read it again and again and again but then I realized how big is my trouble!!
“doctor, I thought our first test is going to be on the 7th of April” I exclaimed. “..which means ..today?” he said smiling. Wow, I knew why I had been wondering whose birthday is on the 7th. I felt so so dumb & idiot. The guy on my right laughed as I left my paper on the doctor’s desk and walked away.
I was walking around going to nowhere, I tried to find someone just to tell what has just happened. Luckily, I saw him from a distance, I kept walking but I remembered that damn test and started to tear, but no one noticed. He saw me, approached and whispered “wanna a suger free cup of coffee?”. An instant of silence, “remember, its sugar free, no calories” he reminded. Then Me said “its ok, but its hot today..”.
In spite of the fact that I didnt want to see him, I felt so glad when I went back home, I forgot about the test, about the laughing guy, my insomnia and all those shits. He makes me laugh, smile, and talk talk talk …. I wouldnt talk to anyone that much. We sat there in S17 for 3 hours but it felt like three minutes, no fustian I swear.
Everyone needs someone like that, especially at a moment like that. <3
