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  Its true that we can’t choose our families, we come to this life and grow up to realize that we already have people to live between them, and we can’t change them, we can’t choose them. The thing is, they give us some genes too, which means we have to accept them with all the genes they give.

 But there are some people, I can call them lucky who somehow could choose their parents, sisters and brothers. I wish it could happen. But when you watch all those documentary programmes, read about those small desperate families and the troubles they’re having every single day in newspapers, you actually thank your god for the life you’ve got. When I ‘was’ a brat and maybe a very spoiled one I honestly used to hate my family and I knew that hate was temporary, it was kind of hate and love relationship as my psychiatrist keeps saying. It doesn’t happen anymore, growing up works, but sometimes when you face some sort of obstacles and find no one to blame, you blame the past and the family.

 Thanks god I’m happy now and I dont have that kind of problems about my family, thats if I can call it a family. Being the only daughter, no brothers and no sisters sucks, I blame everything has caused this fact. What hurts the most is to see everyone with a number of sisters and another of brothers, some are uncles and aunts, it reminds me that I won’t be an aunt ever. Add to that, anorexia might prevent me from being a mother in future. I hate genes. 

 Now, I’ve stopped hoping about having a brother or a sister, asking my parents to try again everynight seemed so silly and I’ve stopped that too. I remember that once I called some doctor and asked him about the whole thing, I was just 12 but I could do it, I asked people and I used to cry asking mother to bring me a brother, to buy one or to do whatever. That was my top one reason to hate genes and family. 

 Friends and relatives call me ‘Lucky’ just because I’m the only one in my parents’ life and they think I’m spoiled, but it seems that no one is satisfied and people will never be. I’m normal then, I’m not satified.

 This song is for my dear parents with passion: 

 For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
Ill be forever thankful baby
Youre the one who held me up
Never let me fall
Youre the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
Im grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I dont know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
Youve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

Im everything I am
Because you loved me

I’ve spent the last three days in London. As usual you dont feel the time where you like to be. Again, took some shoots.

 
 just a random pic.

to be honest, these are things I really had to buy..

 I enjoyed being there, though three days weren’t enough at all, not even close to be. Being there with Daddy means being there alone. That was even better, he was busy all the time, come to provide me with some cash and  leaves again. That was awesome.
 
I wanted to be there in winter its always better. you can smoke to warm yourself up, their coffee shops are so warm and the coffee has another taste in at the time too.
 
 Loved that.

I took some shoots of  Bella and here is one of the best .. isn’t lovely?!

 she doesnt eat much these days but I cant open my mouth to tell Mom about this, she already hates Bella. I will try to take some shoots when she’s awake!

 So much fun, thanks god it’s not boring anymore, for someone who’s fond of guitars and rock I will never feel bored again. We have been taking our guitars and go out to any place, crowded or empty, narrow or huge ..it’s always fun with sounds of our guitars, different guitars.

 Soon and before we fly to LV in September we will be in Dubai where we can see wonderful concerts ..

 
 and that’s what I’m talking about