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I got to answer some questions, someone sent them via Contact Me link. 

 Superman69, these are your questions answered by Me.

What is your ethnicity?
- White bahraini, half lebanese

How old are you?
- Just 19 and a month

Where do you live?
- Bahrain, Muharraq

What kind of ED do you have?
- Anorexia Nervosa

Do you do drugs?
- Not anymore

Are you close to your parents?
- used to be

Do you see a psychiatrist/psychologist?
- Yup

What is your favourite book?
- I can’t pick but if I have to, Wasted.

Do your parents know about your ED (Eating Disorder) ?
- yes, they knew 2 years later.

How about your friends?
- I tried to hide it from the very beginning. Two or three years later, I told 3 of them because they had doubts.

Ever been to recovery?
- Yes, it has been almost 1 year now, no progress though.

How much weight do you want to lose?
- I always say 2 kg more. The fact about anorexics that they can’t get enough, they lose and lose and don’t stop because they always think they’re huge even when they are extremly thin.

What do you think started your ED?
- That is a good one. The environment I’m in was the main reason to get my ED started, people comment on girls bodies and their shapes, “you’re pretty but don’t get fat”, “once you grow older you will start to gain”. All what they say scares me and I wanted to avoid being as they expect me to be. Secondly, Me wanted to be a model, I had the chance to be when that agency called but guess what I said No because I thought I was fat and that is when I ruined my dream.

What other illnesses besides an ED you have?
- Paranoia !!

Do any of your friends have an ED?
- Nope

Does anyone in your family have an ED ?
- Nope

How often do you weigh yourself?
- I used to do that daily. Now, in every appointment which means weekly.

 you welcome superman69. Other questions cannot be answered here.

They said I’m healed enough to be revealed, so I’m home now.
I’ve been reading that indian tale Siddhathra which I enjoy doing. (Thanks to Hamad Balucci).
I’m happy because I have my VIP friend in my life.
I can’t wait till Ramadan ends and my life gets back to the track again, plus I’m waiting for a big return in my life after this month.
I’m back to university with all my heart and soul, I have to raise things there so that I can end up in a bank!! ok I’m just 19 and a month!!
I have been talking to McSteamy more honeslty.

I don’t know why some people get shocked that much when I confess living alone at the age of nineteen (do-wa-beest). They get shocked when they know that I work and study and travel alone. Ok, I believe that these things are hard for a 19 years old girl, yes it’s hard, but it’s not my choice to live alone, it’s not my choice to be the only daughter, no brothers and no sisters, but yes it is my choice to work, to study, to protect myself while living alone. (not really alone, I still have the maid).

 I could not prevent my mother from living with her family outside. I could not ask my father to change his job so he can stay with me. The thing is, I suggested to travel to see my mother and when I called her to give her some “good” news she said “this ain’t a good idea”. I did not want to live alone but this is not the end of the world and their absence does not allow me to be free to drink, go back to drugs and any such things. I thank God that I’m not flattered to do what any other girl would do in the absence of her parents.

 I dare to say that I’m proud of who I am, I’m proud and satisfied, having some nice friends standing by my side give me the comfort I need to survive. I swear I get timorous when I read those horrible news happening every single day over this cursed country, people are being animals, jerks what brains do they have?! crimes are speading all around us and what I’m supposed to do with that alone?!!

 Dear lord in heaven, I pray that soon my parents will come back to me, that moments of forever will be added to our future together, that I will be forever healed, that I will get just what I desereve no more. Amen.

Valentino 

 I could not believe what happened. I’ve known this friend for two years now but he never told me and I did not notice that at all, maybe because I don’t watch the national TV channel!! Yesterday I turned on the TV on bahrain channel, news actually and I got shocked, so shocked .. I could not close my eyes nor mouth. I saw that friend standing with the King, my close friend, who I used to talk to 24/7. Duhhhhhhhh.

 I turned it off directly and thought about everything, I knew he was rich, he used to send me expensive gifts when it’s my birthday. He used to wake me up in the morning I mean he used to call me and wake me up because he knows that I dont switch my alarm on. He knows almost everything about me, we used to be so close. Now when he calls to wake me up and I ask him about his work he says yeah I will go later, they can’t say a thing, he goes at 9 am and leave at 1:30 pm, when he arrives to his office he calls and keeps talking to me because according to him there’s nothing to do at work, it’s boring and he plays games on the PC. I found it cool to have a job like that but actually I believe it’s not at all, he hates his job too just because there’s nothing to do!! He even asked me to be his girlfriend but I could not be not because he was 15 years older than me!!

 Anyway, I called him ..

Me: Hi ..?
Him: Hi. Miss you. I just called three times five minutes ago and sent you a message too.

(last message: will you ever wake up??)

Me: yeah I’ve just seen them. I was wondering ..
Him: wondering about what?
Me: you. you’ve never told me about your family.
Him:……..does it make any sense ?!
Me: yes, maybe ..  I just want to know. Come on tell me and I will tell you about mine.
Him: No, it doesn’t make a sense.
Me: aaaaaaaah, yet I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know ..
Him: why now? why you are asking me Now?? just now?
Me: Why? because I’ve just seen you on TV with the king!!!!
Him: …..
Me: what? why you didn’t tell me?
Him: Ok, what did you want me to tell you? How did you want me to tell you? you would think I’m showing off.

  I am still shocked, I used to treat him as a friend, a very close friend, I talked to him about …oh God. I even cannot imagine that I’ve said those things to someone who’s one of the king’s cousins. Dammit. 

 Why is the that video of Valentino Balboni? Because I have talked to that famous man and this video is taked by my friend when Valentino was here. My friend had a Lamborghini car and Valentino is a friend of his and always comes to check his cars and buys or sells. I can’t wait till I meet him too.

 McSteamy (who hates using this name) and I used to exchange quotes by emails and we have many of them memorized. Anyway, we don’t do that any more, yeah things happen and life changes!!

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
- Billy Crystal. US comedian & movie actor.

 Golf and Sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
- Jimmy Demaret.

 Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate women inside it.
- O magazine, The Shy Girl’s Guide To Sex, Feb 2003.

Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.
- Aimee Mullins. Oprah Magazine.

 A hedge between keeps friendship green.
- German Proverb.

For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.
- Saint Teresa of Avila

Erose will have naked bodies, friendship naked personalities.
- C. S. Lewis.

I’ll keep it short and sweet. Family, Religion, Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
- Matt Groening

True friendship is like sound health, the value is seldom appreciated until it is lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
- (I don’s know who said that)

 Books I’m looking for and I’m dying to read!!

 picture of the day.

 Is this true?

 Is this true?

Haha, honestly this one has made my day.

This is an interesting one no?

like it? 

 what happened to me?
I now think better and I believe that I have a great thinking and I do exist. 

 okay okay, god
- I need to see, once I see I know.

 It was so nice to be with some kind friends, shakin’ the stress away, went to see Hancock which wasn’t that good. It was nice to find some time to forget about what’s really stressful. 

 Again, I’ve seen an old friend who had told me that he’s interested in guys more and told me about the fact that he’s gay. He could have told me in a kind way, I don’t blame him, he didn’t know that I support gay marriages. It’s all about finding a soulmate right?! Shit.

 If you’re one of Grey’s Anatomy fans then you probably will know this person..

T.R. Knight

 
he’s called George O’mally in Grey’s and he’s gay. Recently, he’s got married from his boyfriend Matt Corneisen.
Here they’re walking their dogs together, how romantic!! I envy “her”. 

The Wedding ..

 He’s been asked about having children in future and if he longs to be a father and the answer was “well, the idea of it .. yeah” he said hesitantly.

 But my ex friend used to be so normal, he tried his best not show anything about his interest in guys, once he said “I hate beards, I love guys with shaved faces”. It wasn’t normal to hear something like that, add to that the way it sounded. I’ve never asked him about being with some girl because I actually didn’t want him to think that I was interested or something which is true, I wasn’t. But he could have told me, I’m ok with it.  That doesnt mean I am a lesbian or I want to get a wife instead of getting a husband. It’s just that I understand the whole thing about it. 
 
 So today when we met by coincidence and shaked hands I felt that he’s ashamed or shy maybe, but I told him indirectly about O’mally’s marriage and how lovely the couple looked, I know I was a jerk to say somthing awful like that to a gay but it didnt mind at the time, he just said that if they really love each other then they’ll be happy!! Yeah dear with a big hole in your ass! I swear I remembered him with his boyfriend while I was watching Hancock, you know that scene when Will Smith got that guy’s head into his friend’s ass. Jeeeeeeez. And it was really good that we both could talk about our sexual issues, he talked about how it hurts and how good it feels at the same time I felt like he was pouring his heart out. That’s a positive sign : )

 Good for them both .. 
 

I’ve spent the last three days in London. As usual you dont feel the time where you like to be. Again, took some shoots.

 
 just a random pic.

to be honest, these are things I really had to buy..

 I enjoyed being there, though three days weren’t enough at all, not even close to be. Being there with Daddy means being there alone. That was even better, he was busy all the time, come to provide me with some cash and  leaves again. That was awesome.
 
I wanted to be there in winter its always better. you can smoke to warm yourself up, their coffee shops are so warm and the coffee has another taste in at the time too.
 
 Loved that.

I love presidents when they die. Today I had a test, actually I woke up saying Im 100% sure Im gonna fail no doubt about it. I changed and did the same program I do every morning and went down stairs to check the newspapers while Im waiting for Mom. Guess what!! On the first page, that lovely cute prince of Kuwait whose name is Saad El-Abdullah has died today, he’s so amazing at timing, thank you God, I will always remember this grace.

   I ran to my room, threw everything back and slept for a couple of hours with no dreams or nightmares or any fears of eating meals today. I slept with a big smile on my face, saying  “Prince Saad rest in peace“.

 That is what I am doing to myself as he said. Not True. I dont even smoke, I stopped taking pills (Mom stole them anyway), and I think that I eat more now. He tells lies, he cannot be a doctor!!

 I have got my own motivation, he helps me alot and that makes Mom feels happy about me that I’m getting better. She doesn’t understand why I am trying to recover and get my treatment properly. I wont tell her though, bleh.

 Well, many people have no idea that a woman needs at least 1500 calories daily and a man needs at least 2500 calories daily. I used to take 300 calories daily no more, it’s a crime to break this rule, but now I started to take 500 calories and even more. That’s very good for me, without getting any help from that dump ass.

 Finally, I am starting to feel well again, with my own help.

btw, he said that this girl in the pic has the same hight and weight as mine. Again, definitely he’s telling crap. I dont think I look like that at all!!!

Cool cool cool, I like it when I fool…(eagerly)
Ok, that sounds so cruel, but sometimes fooling others makes Fun. You get what you want easily. Winks.

Thanks Dad, I can always be sick to get such things from you. You rock Mr.H.